...and so...i did it. i slept with seri. and it was good. really good. leg shaking good. so good in fact that my body felt awesomely light all throughout the next day. i told him not to feel like he had to stay afterward, but he did. he slept for a couple of hours and held me. usually, i don't really like that, but it was nice. and he insisted on it. i didn't ask or back into him or lay my head on his chest or anything. i was just laying there and he pulled me to him. being the hopeless romantic that i am, i try not to let those kind of shenanigans go on. usually, i'm on the other side of the bed from him or gone as soon as it's over. no attachments for me. but since it was at my house and he kept pulling me into him. i had no choice. i caved and nestled in. and it was...normal.

normal.

how crazy is that? i felt normal. for once in my life. my body didn't matter. my weight didn't matter. he liked the package even though i find it disgusting. he loved it. and i loved that he loved it. and i loved that he wanted to just lay naked, intertwined and just be.

comfortable.

it was nice. so now, i'm just kind of in that waiting place where i'm trying to figure out what i want to do now. i've been fighting the crazy of wanting to touch him constantly. (i love his body) i want him to want me. but i don't want to date him just yet. although i think we could be compatible. but i still don't trust him, even though i saw a softer side of him friday (before we started making out). but i love his body and want to touch it and adore it and worship it and do crazy sexy things to it all of the time.

so that's that. sex with seri was great.