and so i've been seeing someone. it's really new...and his name is george. it's great so far. he texts me alot. everyday actually. he thinks i'm beautiful, funny, smart...a good girl. and i love it. but i'm waiting for the bottom to fall out. i'm waiting to say, "they're all the same..." but at the same time i'm hoping that i don't get to say that. i hope that even if this doesn't work out, it'll be for a different reason. for a reason that i'm sure will hurt but won't scar. and the reason will allow me to say "i knew there were some good ones out there."

but i'm silently holding my breath on that,

i've been trying to be friends with seri. which has proven to be quite difficult. i'd told him that i couldn't be friends with him and he'd fought with me about it. then i cracked one night while we were out with our friends and his wife came. i kept calling his phone and texting him. in defense of my crazy, we were at a Bacardi Tasting party with freeflowing glasses of alcohol and also, he was flirting with me in front of her. so i was a lot of drunk and a little confused as to what i was supposed to how this was supposed to work. sometimes he texts and emails me then other times he doesn't. which i know means that i need to let it go, but really, that's going to take a while to happen. i'm trying to get over it at a steady (normal) pace. but we'll see if that really happens. i don't know how to be around him and not be the same that we were before. i've never had to do it before so it's a little weird for me.

other news:
eating has been fine. i've been eating more than i need to but no throwing up so i'm calling it a win-win. i've picked up a little weight too so i'm trying to make sure that i don't get too down on myself about that.

smoking has kind of let up too. so that has been good. i'm hoping to start running again soon because the weight that i'm putting on is not fun. People keep saying that they can't tell but i can and it's driving me crazy.

so all's well right now for the most part. living the dream, kids, i'm living the dream...