have you ever had so much to do that you just wanted the world to stop? that's where i am right now. i'm tired of complaining and whining. i just want something to just be finished and fine so i don't have to worry about it anymore. i'm trying not to make a list to cross off. but it's coming to that i think.

weight is still around 169 or so. still can't find those damn laxatives and just don't want to buy anymore because - really - i know how bad they are for me. i understand that. and i think i'm getting a bladder infection from all of the ephedrine i've been taking without drinking a lot of water. in light of that, there will be no pills today. just water and cranberry juice and some sort of food. without stress i might add.

i need to figure out how much money i'll need for school and decide when i'm going back. i need to go soon. not getting any younger and also not really seeing an end to this work situation. i don't think it's going to get better. i think it's just going to get worse and worse for me. i like what i do and most of the people i do it with, but there are a couple that leave me scratching my head on a regular basis.

i need to find out what's going on with my car insurance and getting my car fixed from the accident i had. so around 9 am i'm going to be doing some phoning of businesses to figure out what needs to be done and how so i can get some things taken care of. i'm tired of feeling like my life is out of control. it's really starting to freak me out. and although i might be kind of whiny here, i don't whine like that in real generally. i'm very much a pick myself up, dust myself off, and move it on along kind of person.

oh and i dropped seri. kind of. i told him that he could come over whenever but that i wasn't going to ask him anymore because it was annoying. annoying me and maybe him. well, i know that he most likely won't call until he's horny one night at like 2 in the morning. but i've taken his number completely out of my phone so that i can't contact him. i've done it before, but this time i mean it. i'm finally at the point that although i like seeing him around work and talking to him, i don't feel like i'm going to call him or that i'm going to go crazy if i can't text him. last time i took his number out of my phone, i immediately regretted it. this time i'm happy and oh so ready to move on or really, just focus on getting my ass back in school. so that's that. right now i'm working on getting my mind right to not be a booty call when he calls. so that's something.

i think that's all i've got right now.