at the risk of sounding weird and crazy i texted seri yesterday to ask if he was ok. i woke up from my mid morning nap crazy worried about him. like nauseous and what not. i didn't even dream about him was the weird thing. so i told him it was weird and i knew it. but couldn't shake it. if he wasn't fine, there was nothing i could about it, i guess. but since he said he was, it made me feel better although the feeling lingered until late that night. there's something going on with him. I've always felt that way. ever since i met him. but, oh well, that's his issue. he's not an honest individual so he wouldn't have told me even if something was wrong. him and his vague answers to everything. i wouldn't ask him so many questions if i thought he was being truthful about things. whatever. so i decided this morning that enough was enough with him. i took his number and texts out of my phone and i'm just going to live and let live at this point. it's not even about yesterday. it's about him propositioning me all of the time and if i can't make it or don't want to do anything, he's pissed and doesn't talk to me for a few days. but when i do have time or want to see him, he doesn't respond. not even to say that he can't make it. well, that's a lie, kinda. he'll sometimes respond and say that he's on his way and then he won't come. then keep texting me to see if i'm up still or if i'm waiting still. it's annoying and childish. like i'm always supposed to be on his schedule. well, fuck that. i have enough things keeping me occupied than worrrying about his trifling ass. i know, i know. that sounds pretty angry - i do like him as a person. but this persona he puts up drives me crazy.

in other news. i've still been losing weight. so that's good. taking some diet pills and drinking coffee (apparently they work better mixed with caffeine) and trying to get back in shape. i've kind of let myself go. so that's a little frustrating. but i'm on my way back kids. and this time it's for me. i'm running low on the pills though and that's a little scary, but i'm good right now.

alright, i better get back to work. that's the reason i drove out here. 6 day work weeks suck ass. oh well. life goes on.