so yesterday at a friend's house, i read (i'm ashamed to say) Dr. Phil's love book. my friend already had it. so that brings the pathetic nature of this story down a little bit right? god, i hope so. it started off as a joke. i would read a little to myself and then read the funny dr. phil-isms to everyone aloud. it was a good time. but then i got to the guy-q section where dr. phil tells you how to seduce your man and i pretty much lose sight of all else but seri. it's ridiculous really. i'm ridiculous. i've let my cards show and i don't know what to do about that.
so i know that i said that i was done with seri. but (obviously that was coming) i went back. i asked him about his ex girlfriend. if they were still living together (yeah - "dumbest idea i ever had). i was trying to feel out how tight they were and what that meant for me. i don't know why i'm so fucking interested in him anyways. it really does drive me crazy that i can't shake him. but i'm sticking this thing out and i'm shaking his ass if it kills me.
- so anyways i asked if she was his son's mother, if she was from his hometown, and how long they'd been dating. he totally still likes her. and i feel like julia roberts in my best friend's wedding when michael's chasing kimmy and julianne is chasing michael while talking to george, her gay friend, on the phone and he says "and whos' chasing you? nobody! got it? you are not the one! now you have a small but distinct window of opportunity to do the right thing!"
so he tells me that he's living with her to split the bills which we all know is a lie. he still cares about her and wants her around. so i said (laying it all out there in my anger) that i didn't like him living with her but that it was his life and he could do what he wanted. i shouldn't have said that. i shouldn't care. so i spent this weekend getting clarity. i didn't call or text. i just stayed to myself and tried to remember why it took me so long to even let him in in the first place.
and i haven't decided anything.
dr. phil says that i need to let him chase me. i need to give him some healthy competition. i need to be vague and nonchalant about plans with him. basically everything he's doing to me. but i'm not good at manipulation. and i'm pretty sure this is the first time that i've felt bad about that.
so i'm sure there will be more seri posts in the near future. hopefully soon he'll piss me off completely and i'll leave him alone for real. he's supposedly having a birthday party on Friday night. i figure that i can show up fashionably late from "previous plans" looking hot. say hi and move my way through the crowd. maybe take a girlfriend or gay man with me to the club. and that's if i go. i might just stay home and hang out at the crib. just me and the cats. yep, i just said that.
we'll see what the week holds.
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